Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
