I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
