So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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