let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
