well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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