do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so explain again why im purple
no
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize