fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
