Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just cropdusted the office
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
