I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize