I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
