I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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