I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize