you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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