the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
