it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize