we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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