It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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