listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
