I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
