pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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