Where are you?
In a non slutty way
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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