Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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