dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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