i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Randomize
