Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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