i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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