So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
