i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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