I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
