$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
