the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
