he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
