She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
