I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
