I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
