I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
