From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
