I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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