You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
