sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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