i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
