Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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