Do you still have your period?
This girl is more easily done than said...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
