All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
