Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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