I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
