Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
two words: eviction party
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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