So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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