Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize