The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
