i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Found the puke drawer
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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