Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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