is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
