I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
