That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
this will be a night to untag.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
