Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
